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Jonathan Coulton’s Beard


Jonathan Coulton's beard has magical properties

it pleases the peasants who are under him

It's the beard that made the Kessel run

in less than 12 parsecs


Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of

Midi-chlorians this beard

Do - do do do do do do


Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of

Midi-chlorians this beard

Do - do do do do do do


Jonathan Coulton's beard has the ability to release the Kracken

Cats may have the predisposition to paw at the right side of Jonathan Coultons beard

Jonathan Coulton's beard has a built in Face Time feature

Jonathan Coulton's beard has been shown in the American Journal of Medicine to effectively lower Triglycerides

Jonathan Coulton's beard is an unlockable feature in Dead Rising II


Dance Mr. Coulton

Dance Mr. Coulton

Dance with me all the day long

Cause it's a free ride in paradise

when you strap your Dobro on

Free ride in paradise when you

strap your Dobro on

Strap your Dobro

Strap your Dobro

Strap your Dobro… Ah!


Getty up now


Jonathan Coulton's beard has magical properties

it pleases the peasants who are under him

Clippings of his beard are put in a vial and are

up in the space shuttle way up in the sky

Yes his beard, used to, affect plots and subplots

in episodes of Lost


Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of

Midi-chlorians this beard

Do - do do do do do do


Unicorn Poo does not come close to having the amount of

Midi-chlorians this beard

Do - do do do do do do

You can listen to the entire song for free by clicking on the play button above!

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